i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
