I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
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The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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