I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
