I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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