You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
