six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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