i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You have to summon your inner elephant
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
