I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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