I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
