Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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