I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
