my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
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Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
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Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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