When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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