I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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