what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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