How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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