Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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