What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
