he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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