We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
