Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
