Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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