Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
