does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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