It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
