Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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