Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
