So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
