We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it hurts more in the daytime
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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