Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
