I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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