I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
