I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
