Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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