i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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