im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
