Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
