I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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