So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize