he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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