Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
