My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
