toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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