You work out of a Hotel?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
