I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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