No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
