I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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