Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
