I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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