"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
