I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize