her vagine was all disorganized.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
