Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize