I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You can't just leave with hair like that
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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