Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
