Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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