Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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