I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
