Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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